Worse than he will say

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - His boots battered, his spirits sinking, Luke Stricklin struggled to explain his experiences in Iraq to his family and friends back home who kept asking him what it was like to fight in Baghdad.
"Time calling home was precious," the soldier said. "That's the last thing you wanted to talk about. Mom always said I wasn't telling her the truth, which I wasn't. I would tell her everything was just fine. Ashley, my wife, couldn't bear me talk about it. We just talked about anything else."
Bottom of my boots sure are getting worn," the 22-year-old Arkansas National Guardsman wrote. "There's a lot of holes in this faded uniform. Hands are black with dirt and so is my face. Ain't ever been to hell, but it can't be any worse than this place."

This is part of a news story of a young man writing a song in Iraq about his saddness there. I am not wanting to take anything away from any soldier, but I want to point out that he is a National Guardsman, not a full time soldier, and certainately not as bad as a person in the Special Forces.

How much of the story of his hurt is the war? How much is love lost? He won't let us in to know, to help, he just says it isn't something to worry about. Or he will change the subject, or even tell a funny story about his time there. Now, after being there two years and being out only a little more than two months, those bastards have dragged him back into that hell. What scares me is when he said that is where he needs to be. Isn't that close to; Everyone was better off when they thought I was dead. How easy would it be for someone who believes that to just drop off the face of the world? If he just stops writing, stops calling, stops e-mailing or IM while over there, we would never know if it was on purpose or because something terrible has happened. Does that thought scare the hell out of me? Damn right it does. :(